from Pain to Glory

Tonight I hurt. I hurt all over. I am immersed in pain. I try to lie down and sleep but as I lie there every fiber of my being is screaming at me for relief. There is none. I took pain meds but they've made me sick to my stomach. They may kick in sooner or later, but seems lately its always later.

I am sore like I've been punched all over. I am tender. I feel every muscle, every joint, every hair. It all hurts. I want to go to sleep, but lying down hurts more than sitting up, so I will await such an overwhelming sleepiness that I cannot but fall away to a dream world where hopefully, my pain is less.  Sometimes the pain invades my dreams as though it was written into the script. Other times, it is when sleep finally does take over that I am pain free for a couple of hours.

I know that my trials are temporary. I know that my pain is temporary. I am grateful that I am alive as I was dying and I was healed of so much of the source of this pain. I long for complete healing or for at least another measure of it. Yet, I know my God is in control.

I trust His character even though I hurt; even though I don't understand why I have to endure this pain. I know many others have their pain as well and I've come to believe that it is not okay to compare my pain to anyone else's. Every person's pain is their own and it is theirs to feel in any way they desire. Its not something to compare saying  "mine is worse than yours" or "yours worse than mine".

I believe that every single thing in our lives is something that God can and does use to His glory in life if we submit it to Him.  Consequently, I have seen how my pain has opened up doors for me to connect with others who have pain. Perhaps that's the purpose for it all. Perhaps not. Either way, again, I trust His character so I know He will bring me from pain to glory. And in that day when the temporary gives way to the eternal, there will be no more pain, no more tears, no more need to explain my pain to those who don't understand. But there will also be no more time to use my pain to connect with those who do. So I must be about His business in the meantime, and let this pain open the doors that its meant to open.

God help me be faithful even in the hard things, like enduring temporary pain for Your kingdom and Your purposes. Thank you for trusting me to walk this path. Thank you for a life of purpose and for showing me purpose in the pain. May I be faithful.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18 NIV

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